My screen door is broken.

It doesn't open from the outside. To get in from the balcony you need to pry the screen off the corner and stick your hand through to unlatch it. We used to spend the two minutes it takes to fix until winter came and brought with it the impending laziness.......

There i was, sitting in my room working on my computer when i saw it; A pigeon. Perched on Ophelia's tank. Looking right at me.

"Coo?"

"AAAHH!!!!!" I screamed and slammed my bedroom door in panic. (If your wondering why then you've never seen a St.Jamestown pigeon*)

After collecting my wits i convinced myself it would probably leave on its own as long as it didnt venture into a different room. I tiptoed out to close the doors to the bathroom and Irinas bedroom.

"Coo?" said the pigeon as he walked accross the floor
"Coo" said his friend perched on the doorframe

"TWO PIGEONS?! AAAAH!!!" as i locked myself in my bedroom once again. One pigeon i can deal with. But Two? thats way to much for me to take. I sat there hyperventilating. Hoping he would take pity and come down to help I called my neighbor. The poor guy was recovering from a late night and i'm sure my shreiking was not his idea of a good morning. He talked me down, gave me some pointers, and went back to nursing his hangover. I was on my own.

Every move i made caused the pigeons to take to the air. The flapping wings and flying feathers caused me to shreik and run into my room again and again. Needless to say it was a long process. As they hid in the kitchen i moved all my furniture creating a path to the now open door. I went through the kitchen the other way waving a blanket at the pair. Tentatively they walked side by side to freedom.....leaving nothing but a pile of poo behind them.

Now im bleaching EVERYTHING

Love Forever,
Jamie

*St.Jamestown - most densely populated area in Canada.
- 17,000 people in 19 buildings.
- 1:20 person to pigeon ratio
.....and by pigeon i mean overfed rat bird.