TWO JOBS AND NO CAR...

This is the end...my only friend, The End.

2009-12-08T13:18:00.000-08:00

It's true. Three point five years have passed since i began my journey into the world of technology and big cities. Where am i now? Well, i still dont know how to download things and my computer is too haggard to run msn. But i do own an iphone, and who talks on msn these days anyway? After this much time in Toronto and this many years in school I can finally say i grasp the time line of the industrial revolution, i loath the folks at turnitin.com, and i know how to under-stitch like nobodies business. So where has this left me? Well after writing my latest essay on The Wasp Factory I'd say i trust reality less than i ever have and i probably shouldn't read another book written after 1975 until whatever comes post post-modernism has taken control. This pessimistic world view has invaded my optimistic psyche causing my paranoia to take control. So "MOVE ON!" i say...to bigger and better things? probably not. but the background colour is different and so is the URL.

Love Forever,
Jamie

2009-11-08T22:29:00.001-08:00

2009-10-28T00:41:00.000-07:00

"We were raised by this generation who told us to follow our dreams...but then didn't understand when we grew up and took them seriously."

"well...what do you think we'll tell our kids?"

"We'll only have one kid."

-Jamie and Russ

"Our Enormously Productive Economy...

2009-10-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

Demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption...we need things consumed, burned up, replaced, and discarded at an ever-accelerating rate."

-Victor Lebow 1955

Love Forever,
Jamie

Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

2009-10-12T14:53:00.000-07:00

no comment...

Love Forever,
Jamie

A memory or two...

2009-10-09T20:37:00.000-07:00

Even before i knew you I heard the stories. Let me tell you man, you lived up to your reputation.That little gleam of crazy peaking out from behind your eyes...and your grin. You were one of the few who really knew how to live without holding back. I looked forward to seeing you each time i came home. You always greeted me with a hug, a funny story, and a great time.

.......A high school party in the country where we first met...might have been your grad. A ginger kid with spiked hair, speaking that creepy language with my cousin.
......You boys playing music on Whyte Ave. I'd sip some gin, do a jig, and carry on with the night.
......Countless evenings dancing around the campfire. Drums, guitars, and that animalistic scream that only you could do so well....oh, remember that one Canada day? what a pow-wow, wouldnt have been the same without you.
......Many a toga parties inevitably ending with you in the nude...or running in that skulloton suit, Megan in pursuit behind you.

A tribe has lost a brother. Rest in peace Dustin, we'll miss you.

Love Forever,
Jamie

Summer is Over.

2009-09-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

Or so sa y the clas s schedules. While eating a mini muffin (with bacon) in Pitman hall I stared at CP24 and reflected on the past few months. A summer in Toronto. Time flew as it does in the city. Trips to the beach, rooftop bbq's, and midnight dance parties have blended together.

Labour day weekend left one last chance for frivolous fun before the bite returned to the air. What better way to end the summer than a secret show...one which the kids spread through word of mouth, willingly fork over the cash, and then wait in trusting anticipation for directions. A text message as my invite, i tagged along with my friends in the know.

The ticket; a program with titles in greek and bios filled with half truths and interesting tales. On the last page directions to the concert brought us East to point most of us have only seen on the 6oclock news. I followed the hipsters through Kennedy station to a waiting bus. We stuck out like a sore thumb (or perhaps a well manicured one). 'downtowners' the man beside me called us.

"...Pass between two large rocks and then follow the path into the park. When you see eight large columns and three heads of Zeus, you will know you have arrived in the correct spot." and so we did. A night of ancient ruins, tree climbing, and a sit by the lake. Final Fantasy as the headliner, a slice of pizza and a long subway ride home. Oh Toronto, your cooler than I give you credit.

(all pictures shamelessly stolen from Kass' facebook)

Love Forever,
Jamie

Chivalry is Not Dead

2009-08-15T15:44:00.000-07:00

that's what i thought when he asked if i needed help carrying my package down the subway stairs. I declined, telling him it was not that heavy. He smiled and turned. I watched him walk down the stairs in front of me. I watched as he ignored the woman struggling with her baby carriage....

love forever,
Jamie

Although I hate them I have also come to love them.

2009-06-11T13:34:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to give them names or anything but watching these foul feathered friends grow has tapped into my maternal instincts. Now that doesnt mean I want any more where they came from so 'Reens and I have been doing our best to make our balcony inhospitable. This included removing the boxes under which they found shelter, loud noises at all hours of the day, and the occasional flying beer can. Then there was the egg; apparently just a few days before the first chicks are ready to leave home the mother will lay another. It was me who put on the rubber gloves and tossed it over the rail...birdie abortion if you will. That I do not feel guilty about. I consider it a favour to a mother bird who lacks a suitable home in which to raise another child. It's what happened after that keeps me up at night...

Yesturday, we decided, was the day. We were out there, stacking the empties, preparing for our anual trip with a shopping cart of cans. The newly hatched had been flapping up to the rail and back down to the floor for a while...the little one still had a few baby feathers sticking out of its head. I questioned the runts ablility to make it to the windowsill where momma and poppa looked on. I wish i could say it was a joyous occasion; watching them jump from the balcony and take flight for the first time. It almost was.

They stood poised, head under the rail, prepared for what was next. A can flew through the air in their general direction. The birdie leapt and flapped with all its might, using every ounce of strength it perched on the window sill between its parents. Success.

The second eviction notice was served. The child took off, flapping frantically, just 2 inches below the sill, he turns back to the balcony and misses, turns again to the next sill, again and again...I watched in terror, willing the birdie to find a foothold. Each turn brings him one story closer the the ground. He had 16 chances to land...I lost sight of him around the 8th floor. I'v been telling myself he found a new balcony, that his mother brings him food before returning to my sill each morning. I'm not so sure this is true. I can't even look the others in the eye.

Love forever,
Jamie

I have so much to say

2009-05-31T09:43:00.000-07:00

Yet the tendinitis in my wrist is thinking i should say it not type it....so, until the busy bee who is me can find some time to get to physio or at least take a break from the sewing machine, you will have to wait. Until then, here are some Coles-notes updates on my life:

- forget the ones that were in my home, my balcony is now host to two baby pigeons. The not-so-newly hatched are about ready to take wings and fly...as soon as they do we're balcing* the nest

- Candy Pants are almost ready to hit the market. Coming June 6th, 2009 these eco-friendly, bamboo undies can be seen at various fests, online, and at the Shopgirls boutique on Queen Street West. Don't forget, their made in Canada so buy a pair and support our dwindling manufacturing sector. (candypants.ca is coming soon)

Love Forever,
Jamie

*balcing (balck-ing): adverb; to balc
balc (balck): verb; the act of throwing or launching an object off of ones balcony

At 8am on the first Tuesday of my university career, I swore i would never do it.

2009-05-10T08:21:00.000-07:00

The oath had something to do with the pretentious man who was my illustration professor scoffing at the fact that I had never been. Shiny eyed and straight from Alberta I didn't know the first thing about the industry. If you asked me to make a list of designers I wouldn't be able to fill half a page. He told me if I wanted to make it in fashion i needed to know what was going on. My assignment; go to Holt Renfrew. I was furious. And idealistic. I refused to succumb to the pull of overpriced fashion. I did not believe that a department store filled with two hundred dollar t-shirts and two thousand dollar bags was anything but part of the problem in our consumer driven world....I wanted to prove that i could be successful without playing the game.

Over the past three years this turned into a kind of pretension in its own right. When others spoke of Holtz i turned my nose to the air. While in lectures, when the other girls were on their Macbooks browsing lookbook and style.com I was...well....napping. But one can only overt their gaze for so long. This year i began to crack; I too have a folder in my bookmarks dedicated fashion sites, blogs, and forums. exchanging my Addbusters for Vogue I began to attend fashion shows and other events. To my surprise I actually know people in the crowd, with the press, and sometimes on the runway....

Two weeks ago I finally did it. The last step before casting the sheet from my eyes and entering the world of higher fashion. I went to Holt Renfrew. It was amazing. I never knew shopping could be such a beautiful thing. Not that I shopped. Who can afford to? But I fantasized. Fantasised over four hundred dollar lingerie and four thousand dollar Gucci blazers. Fantasised about the day when I would have my own corner on the fourth floor. My name stenciled on the walls in fuchsia. The freedom to use quality fabric, intricate design details, and the fan base to purchase my wares. As I took the escalator up I felt my social stature rise with it....well until i left empty handed and headed for the Goodwill down the street.

...so what does this mean? Does it mean iv left my angst ridden years behind? Do I leave my green hair, doc martens, and bullet belt at the door? I don't think so....well I hope not. Right now their holding on by a thread. I'm trying to find a place where the two converge. I still refuse to play the game, I will not bite the lure of fast fashion and trash consumer culture. But I also except the high price tag of designer clothing. It's worth it. How do we convince society to spend three hundred dollars on one dress that they'll have forever instead of thirty dollars on one that will be out of style in a month? And where do i fit into all of this?

Love forever,
Jamie

My screen door is broken.

2009-05-05T15:52:00.000-07:00

It doesn't open from the outside. To get in from the balcony you need to pry the screen off the corner and stick your hand through to unlatch it. We used to spend the two minutes it takes to fix until winter came and brought with it the impending laziness.......

There i was, sitting in my room working on my computer when i saw it; A pigeon. Perched on Ophelia's tank. Looking right at me.

"Coo?"

"AAAHH!!!!!" I screamed and slammed my bedroom door in panic. (If your wondering why then you've never seen a St.Jamestown pigeon*)

After collecting my wits i convinced myself it would probably leave on its own as long as it didnt venture into a different room. I tiptoed out to close the doors to the bathroom and Irinas bedroom.

"Coo?" said the pigeon as he walked accross the floor
"Coo" said his friend perched on the doorframe

"TWO PIGEONS?! AAAAH!!!" as i locked myself in my bedroom once again. One pigeon i can deal with. But Two? thats way to much for me to take. I sat there hyperventilating. Hoping he would take pity and come down to help I called my neighbor. The poor guy was recovering from a late night and i'm sure my shreiking was not his idea of a good morning. He talked me down, gave me some pointers, and went back to nursing his hangover. I was on my own.

Every move i made caused the pigeons to take to the air. The flapping wings and flying feathers caused me to shreik and run into my room again and again. Needless to say it was a long process. As they hid in the kitchen i moved all my furniture creating a path to the now open door. I went through the kitchen the other way waving a blanket at the pair. Tentatively they walked side by side to freedom.....leaving nothing but a pile of poo behind them.

Now im bleaching EVERYTHING

Love Forever,
Jamie

*St.Jamestown - most densely populated area in Canada.
- 17,000 people in 19 buildings.
- 1:20 person to pigeon ratio
.....and by pigeon i mean overfed rat bird.

Nothing but a game of chess....

2009-04-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

Maybe I have been reading too many conspiracy theories lately but i cant shake the feeling that things are going just a little too well for our puppy owning friend. I admit, i'v been on the Obama train for quite a while now but im getting wary. I mean, since the Bush/Gore election its quite obvious that the 'land of the free' is anything but. The country that claims to fight for democracy is showering in deceit with nothing to hide behind but a flimsy dollarama shower curtain. You know the one; just a little to short to reach wall to wall with the magnets at the bottom not quite strong enough to keep it stuck to the tub. I cant shake the feeling that our new prez has simply changed the semi transparent curtain for a coloured one with polka dots. But instead of peaking around the curtain we've been distracted by the sounds coming out of his brand new shower radio and the smell of his shampoo. The news isn't full of policy changes, its full of Michelle supporting local designers and the planting of the White house vegetable garden. I want to think he's here for change but we all know that the governments don't really control anything these days. What with the WTO and the IMF allowing multi-nationals to stake claim over formerly sovereign nations the real question is who's signing the cheques? Who's the king and who're the pawns?....i would write more but after learning that the CIA even monitors turnitin.com i'm not sure its a good idea to speak my mind on such an open server. My next post might becoming at you straight from my bunk in Guantanamo bay.....

Love Forever,
Jamie

2009-03-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

I knew it was over the night my mother phoned to discuss the inappropriateness of pornographic graffiti showing up on her news feed.

2009-03-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

It could be that for a short time Facebook alone was enough to satisfy my need for self expression online. To blog seemed unnecessary when i could simply update my status. It seems that time is no more, im back.

They may have signed up in an attempt to appear with the times but the truth is not only do our parents not understand, shit would certainly hit the fan if they ever figured it out. To them, Facebook is a phenomena; An intricate construct of social networking filled with such a vast amount of apps that they just cant wrap their limited minds around it. (limited not by a lack of intelligence but by a lack of fundamental hard wiring in their brains. An effect of being raised in the period before Times New Roman overtook cursive writing)They may have accepted our abbreviated figures of speech, our reluctance to use capital letters and our absolute refusal to insert apostrophes but i think thats about as far as it goes. Dont bother trying to explain that before Facebook there was Friendster and before Friendster there was Myspace and before Myspace there was Nexopia. Dont even mention that before blogging there were livejournals. I wouldnt tell them that the list could go on and on, sometimes in a different order, depending on location/age/subculture/etc. They would be horrified to learn the amount of profiles we have filled out without so much as reading - or caring about - the privacy policy. How many lists of favorite bands, tv shows, books, and quotes have been left forgotten, floating lonely in cyber space only to emerge when your date from last Saturday googles your name. I wouldnt even consider letting them know that Facebook isnt the only social networking site being used today. That youth all over the world are also feeding their narcissistic urges with memberships on Twitter and the like.

My mothers furry was slightly subsided when i explained the difference between her news feed and her wall and that the picture was not drawn for her but for my friend. She seemed a bit less anxious when i assured her that (unlike herself) my little cousins have more than 12 "friends" on the book and it was doubtful the graffiti would have even made it to their attention.

She did NOT, however, accept the notion that the picture was anything but an embarrassment to my character; crude and unladylike. Nothing (not even explaining how Facebook friend Matt had changed his Facebook last name to Esticles and therefore I had no choice but to draw said pornographic image in order to get the most possible humour out of the situation) could convince her that this was funny. I am left with no other option but to censor myself until the next dominant design emerges and we can all flee leaving our parents wondering why we didnt RSVP to the baby shower on Thursday.

If you ask me, getting them to understand isnt worth the risk. It would be like trying to download the latest version of msn or itunes to Windows 95. It would be a painfully slow process, with every new update potentially overloading the already overworked hardrive. If i wasnt speaking metaphorically, i would secretly hope for that blue screen of death to come and justify my purchase of a new Macbook but i havent heard anything about Apple unveiling a new series of synapses for the incompatible brain of a Baby Boomer.

Love forever,
Jamie

the newest item on my list of things to do with my life

2008-02-01T10:38:00.000-08:00

Build a Cob house...or mabye a straw bale house. Natural building; its inexpensive, energy efficient, and sustainable. They can last hundreds to thousands of years. Plus there really cool looking. www.housealive.org and www.armofthespiral.com

Love Forever
Jamie

My Adventures at Sherbourne and Dundas

2008-01-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

What a man on the street actually said to me today:

"Girl, you got a NICE pussy!."
"Yo Bitch! Get over here!"

i wonder if that ever works for him.

2008-01-06T18:42:00.000-08:00

"...when each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises."
- Paulo Coelho

www.typeonline.co.uk/typingspeed.php

2007-12-10T19:38:00.000-08:00

my new favorite past time. so far my best is 84wmp

My Newly Developed Irrational Fear

2007-11-18T19:00:00.000-08:00

Flesh Eating Disease or Necrotizing Fasciitis. Im not joking people. This little bacteria can live anywhere....your bathtub, the garden, the classroom floor. All it has to do is get into a little cut, or even a bruise and your done for. I have seen pictures and it is disgusting. It looks like acid is burning your skin from the inside. This one guy got it in his nose when he was gardening and it ate almost his entire face before they could stop it, he now has no nose or eyes...he kind of looks like that monster on Pans Labyrinth. Fucking terrifying. Im starting to think that Howie Mandel knows what hes doing with the whole germ phobia thing...maybe he'll go halfsies on a bulk order of latex gloves with me...

Love forever
Jamie

Its Official

2007-11-09T21:06:00.001-08:00

i thought i could make it...i almost did...but today it happened...i wore sweatpants to school...i have officially given up...

Love forever,
Jamie

'Who wants to be a millionare Canada'

2007-10-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

Blame them. With the rise of reality television, the knockoffs were quick to follow. theres Canada's next top model, project runway Canada, Canadian Idol, Cribs Canada...i could go on. Just add 'Canada' to the title, switch the big name host for someone a little less good looking, add a little multiculturalism and at least one French accent and theres you have it; the perfect recipe for LAME!! ooooh Canada land of no imagination...

Love Forever
Jamie

2007-10-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

The Triads are after me! i know to much...

2007-09-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

With a name like the Angel Queen i thought i had nothing to worry about on my first day of work...i thought wrong. After i realized my boss Jason couldn't speak English i was more amused than concerned. True he was kind of creepy and always had this weird smile like he knew something i didn't. Once he tried to show me around the place it became obvious that he had no idea where anything was...or how to use the till...or what food was on the menu. That however didn't really seem to be a problem since the place didn't really seem to get any customers. Well, aside from the group of shady Asian men who hang around the back and go in and out of the kitchen on a regular basis. Still, i didn't think i had anything to worry about aside from bad tips. That is until Jason went into the kitchen to make some soup for a customer. A girl about my age came into the restaurant looking very agitated. she asked about the sign outside that said grand opening and asked to speak to the new manager. The little Asian girl i was working with went into the kitchen to get him and i told the girl that i probably wouldn't be much help to her considering it was my first day. At that comment she looked at me for a second like she was deciding whether she should say something or not and then told me to keep good track of my hours because she had worked here for a few weeks and its now been four months and she still hasn't been paid. At this point i should probably mention that i had agreed to be paid cash, under the table at the end of every week. The little Asian girl peeked her head out from the back to look at us and then ducked back into the kitchen. The girl who had come into the restaurant was getting more edgy by the second. "Is it still Jason who is managing this place?" she asked. when i nodded a reply she whispered "fuck I'm outta here" and made for the door. Before she left she turned back and yelled to me "GET OUT AS QUICK AS YOU CAN!" well i stood awkwardly behind the bar wondering what to do until Jason came out of the kitchen with the soup he was making. I served the customer and when i turned around i realized he had once again ducked into the kitchen without saying a word. 'This might be my only chance at escape' i thought to myself. i certainly wasn't going to stick around there all night, especially if chances were they weren't going to pay me anyways. i slowly walked to the coat rack by the kitchen and pretended to reached into my purse for my cell phone, looking into the kitchen i saw that Jason had his back to me and the other waitress was nowhere to be seen. At this i grabbed my purse, booked it out the door and sprinted the four blocks home. I walked by the place three times this week and i still haven't seen a customer in there...there's gotta be something shady going on there...maybe drug smuggling or an Asian prostitution ring in the basement. I can tell you one thing tho, they make a killer lemon curry soup.

Korean Symbol For TaeKwanDo

2007-07-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

I'm serious people. The world of Asian Character tattoos has hit a new low...and i mean extremely extremely low...and we thought it could never happen. If the tattoo itself isn't bad enough heres the story behind it;

"Ive been really really into TaeKwanDo since i was seven. I did it for years. So i got the tattoo. But then i got older and started (motions drinking a beer) and quit."

Ok...hang on...let me get this straight. So, your parents put you in a martial art when you were a kid, you really liked it so you decided to get the characters tattooed on your shoulder...and then you became old enough to buy your own booze and quit. Good story...uhm...did you forget that tattoos are permanent?

Life of a Redneck

2007-06-21T20:31:00.000-07:00

Today at work a delivery driver was pretty angry after i made him wait in a line of cars for less than 10 minutes until the way was clear. In an attempt at releasing his frustration, he decided to hit my lunch box which was sitting on the shoulder of the road behind me. Believe me, it was intentional, i saw him swerve right for it. It went flying in the air breaking into a thousand pieces. My water bottle exploded, as did my orange and my sandwich was spread across the newly laid asphalt. Before i could make my way over to salvage what was left the birds got at it. Thats when my day started going downhill....it was 9am.

In other news one of the boys asked me if i wanted anything from 711. I told him to surprise me and he winked and drove away. When he came back he handed me a bottle of a drink called 'blue bawls' which had a 'RED HOT dice' scratch card taped to it......i think he was trying to tell me something...i won $1.

The Legend Of The Jasper Seven

2007-06-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

Well May Long Weekend has come and past (or "May Two Four" for you weirdos out East) and as many of you know it is my favorite holiday (aside from Halloween). This year may have been the most eventful yet. At the last minute i decided to tag along with Tony and his friends to camp in Jasper. Thursday night everybody met at Ryan's house so that we could leave early Friday morning. I showed up with a small backpack, a shoulder bag and a garbage bag of camping stuff only to see that everyone had hardcore backpacking packs because - as Tony had failed to mention - we had to hike to our camping spot. Luckily Ryan's brother Jared had decided not to come so i was able to use his backpack but i was still only wearing slip on shoes.

With a list that included everything from drinking water to bear mace to a samurai sword we got our gear together before catching a few hours of sleep and heading out bright and early Friday. Once in Jasper we stopped at the town center and paid for our reservations on the 'Saturday night lake loop' which was a four or five hour hike up the mountain to a lake where we would be the only ones camping in the middle of nowhere. The lady in the lodge reminded us to watch out for elk and make sure we kept the bear mace handy during the trek. After that we followed Jordan Roy and his 'photographic memory' to the parking spot, put on our packs, and started the hike. After about a half an hour of hiking the trail started leading us down towards town again. It didn't take us long to become suspicious...after all, it had been two years since Ryan and Jordan had been their last and none of us were quite certain as to how photographic Roy's memory actually was. Crystal and Janine were quick to point out that this was exactly how horror movies started. Bryce (aka Squirrel) ran ahead, being the army boy he is, to scout the path and soon returned with the news that we had to turn around. Great, after an hour of hiking we were back where we started and the two days worth of water and food on our backs were starting to become more than a burden. But it was a beautiful day and we weren't ready to give up yet so we chose another path and continued on our way.

After another couple hours we came to a clearing and were ecstatic to here that Ryan and Jordan both remembered being there before...only...hadn't they come from the other direction last time?? oh well. The boys took a look at the map on the trail and we continued hiking down path number 6....and hiking......and hiking.....and hiking.....past one lake.....then another....I'm not talking about your friendly day trail here either, we were on precarious mountain paths with heavy packs weighing us down with every step. The further in we got the harder the trail became and the less it seamed like we were actually going the right way. All of a sudden Jordan piped up, "hey guys, i think i remember now, we were supposed to take trail number three..." then Ryan catches up from the back of the line, "Hey guys...I'm pretty sure it was trail three now that i think about it!" Thanks guys....your about three and a half hours late on that one!

After one very steep, very high hill we decided that this was it, it was almost 6 o'clock, we were exhausted after 4 hours of hiking and we only had a few hours left before the sun went down. We had to choose a place to camp and we had to do it now. We weren't sure if we were allowed to camp around this area but squirrel had a plan if anyone gave us any trouble. "I'm just gonna tell em I'm a soldier on leave and they can #$%& right off!" Anyway, the rangers were all on strike, we figured we would be fine. We found a beautiful sandy peninsula into the middle of a lake and took a look at our surroundings. It was breathtaking. Mountains on all sides. Only, wait, whats that in the distance? Whats that sound? Cars?! A highway!!?? We just hiked for four hours to be an hour walk from a highway and a rest stop?! What are those lights? Cabins?! a campground!!...oh great, so much for being alone in the middle of nowhere. We set up camp, started a fire, and sat around letting the whole thing sink in. It wasn't that bad, the highway was pretty far away, we could barely see it, and this spot was amazing. We cooked some dinner and Squirrel gave us some samples of his army rations. There was only one problem, we didn't have a sling to tie up our food and by the time we realized this Ryan had already drank a bottle of sake, Roy was almost through his case of beer, Tony was well into the Rum, and Squirrel had already taken a drunken swim in the glacier fed lake. Needless to say, none of the boys were in any position to rig something up. We opted to put all of our food in garbage bags, wrap it in a tarp and leave it at the very tip of the peninsula before we all stumbled to bed.

Morning came and the day was beautiful. Jordan, Tony, and I stayed at the site while the others trekked up to the campground to see if we could rent a canoe or something. As we debated cracking into the gin a tourist came by with his two kids in a canoe to ask if we saw any bears. (or bieaas as he pronounced them) He told us that one had been seen a few miles up and to watch out for it. We weren't too worried, we had a plan for that too; "Mace em and Cut em!" Ryan didn't bring his samurai sword for nothing.

All of a sudden Crystal came running down the path, "Put the fire out! we gotta pack up and get the hell out of here, they called the cops on us!" We dumped water on our fire and started to pack up quick time. The Mountie came along the path threatening a $5000 ticket for illegal camping and an illegal fire but after we explained the situation she took our names and sent us on our way. We were off again. Now when the only thing getting you through the hike the day before is knowing that your packs are going to shed two days worth of food and water before the hike back, trekking back through the mountains sore, hungover, and with your packs almost as heavy as they were the night before is NOT fun! Luckily we found a new trail and it only took us about 2 hours to find our cars again. We decided to go back to town and see if we could get our money back for the second night and just find a campground to tent at. Thinking the weekend was a bust Janine went in to try and sweet talk the lady.

"Are you the kids that ended up at Patricia lake?"
"Uh...Yea....How did you know?"
"You guys must have angles watching out for you, your lucky to even be alive. The largest grizzly ever reported in Jasper was spotted 500m away from you guys this morning stalking you, not to mention the fact that you were camping on protected grounds. Every weekend people try to get special permits to stay exactly where you guys were but no one is allowed and you kids just up and did it! Heres your money back but be on your best behavior wherever you stay tonight, everyone in town knows who you kids are now."

We drove through town feeling like legends, found a campground, had another great night and headed for the hot springs in the morning. Id do it again in a second....only maybe next time ill bring a map....

my idea of a good time includes blinking hula hoop dance partys in the zellers toy department

2007-05-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

After almost two weeks here i am enjoying the life of the unemployed like no other. Unfortunately this has to stop. This life is only fun while the money lasts and since I'm living off of a credit card and a loan, the real money ran out about six months ago...i might have been the only one who hadn't noticed. On the plus side i think i got the flag girl job with park paving. Keep your eye out next time you pass a road crew. You cant miss me, I'm the girl with green hair and a sweet lazer bolt shaved into the side of her head.

The word is in that skinny jeans are on there way out. Thank god. You might not know this since i own pairs in blue, grey, AND black but i don't really like them. They may look good but there uncomfortable and restricting. not to mention that most women (me not included) have hips and an ass which don't really fit into the skinny pencil legs that these skinnys offer. Apparently wide leg is where its at. Find this and other great fashion related news at CHEEKMagazine.com its new, exciting, and (because its online) environmentally friendly. Plus its free and who doesn't love free?

Courtesy of Aprils crush who has the most bling plugs i have ever seen, i can get a rockin discount at Dragon FX. Two green gems have been ordered and they will soon be a great addition to my anti-eyebrow area! Although I'm still undecided if i should do both sides or go with the asymmetrical lifestyle. What are your thoughts guys?

Love Forever
Jamie

PS: if you are riding on the handle bars of a bike down a busy sidewalk, the cops wont do anything as long as there distracted by the drunk guy that there trying to throw into the paddy wagon. trying to stop is much more dangerous than just cruising by.

I think i lost my Albertan accent...

2007-05-03T00:02:00.000-07:00

So I'm home...not that this is news. I've been here since Saturday. Its been a rather uneventful few days. Here's a few things to note:

- i think the fact that i have a loud voice gives off the false impression of confidence. People seam to believe me when i tell them that i know what I'm doing. For example, my friend Dave didn't seem to have a problem letting me cut his hair even tho i have never done it before. I'm not sure how he felt after my little accident with the clippers forced me to shave him bald.

- this might sound cliche, but only in Alberta does it go from sunny and plus 10c to raining to snowing and back to plus 10 in one day.

- only in Alberta does snow in April ruin your plans for racing old beater cars on the track at the back of your friends farm causing you to sit inside and play with the new litter of kittens while eating elk steaks and watching NHL playoffs instead.

- my goal for the summer is to be the slow sign girl on the road crew by the side of the highway. hot asphalt and coveralls cant scare me away. if you can help me out with this please let me know.

Love Forever
Jamie

Science Facts!!

2007-04-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

Did you know?:

-slug antenna are similar to eyeballs. They are hypersensitive to minute changes in light. Its essentially just a pupil that gets really really small and really really big very quickly.

-slugs breath through one a hole on their side which goes to a lung

-they actually produce many different kinds of slime for different purposes from simply aiding mobility to self defence.

-slugs are essentially just a slimy complex mass of muscles.

thanks to the discovery channel we all learned something new today. your welcome.

Love Forever
Jamie

"Well they know about the books...so they must be indie..."

2007-04-19T17:05:00.000-07:00

I went to a concert at the Opera House on Queen street a little while ago. We went to see a band called The Books. I feel like ive been to a meeting of a really secret club...and i hope they dont find out i snuck in. Irina and I were in the presence of the most indie of the indie kids. It was really very overwhelming. Forget about the kids you see dressed head to toe in American Apparel, these kids got over that way before there was one on Young street. They dont dance, a few of them sway, more might tap there foot on the ground or their hand against their leg. Between sets, a group of 15 or so sat down in a circle and just hung out. Lets forget about the expensive clothes and the fancy haircuts tho...i mean, isnt every scene just about the music?...and the show was great. But one question indie kids: when did beards become trendy?

Love forever
Jamie

"I still have some left to do but im leaving it until tomorow. I should have more than enough time...as long as nothing goes wrong."

2007-04-11T06:53:00.000-07:00

I said that Monday night. Two o'clock Tuesday afternoon: i have about half an hour of sewing left and then i have to go to Queen street, get button holes made and buy some buttons before the shops close at five or six. Easy. Yeah right.

This is for my final sewing project, due at 9:30 the next morning and worth a huge chunk of my mark (not to mention my entire reputability as a design student). I am a week late finishing this project because of my neck and its started to become a burden. On my walk through the building i pass by a bunch of people setting up for Mass Exodus - the fourth year fashion show. My heart started beating a little faster thinking about my time to shine three years down the road. But there was no time for that.

I get to the sewing lab, cut out my little squares of fabric, and get to it. There is two sergers in the first year lab. I go to the first, broken needle. I go to the second, the needle is in place but there is no thread. Everyone else is done...the machines aren't set up anymore. Luckily there was a girl in the lab who was nice enough to set it all up for me. Twenty minutes later i finally get started. I'm about half way through it when the needle breaks. Shit. I calmly gather everything together and move into the overflow lab and attempt to thread the serger in there. Another half hour later, after some help from a second year, i am still no closer to a working machine. It is now 3:00.

Downstairs i go. I am now on a hunt for the tech's new office. I find it without to much trouble but Audry's not there. Shes off running errands for Mass Ex. The lady in the office tells me to go upstairs and wait for them to come in a few minutes. So i wait...and wait....and wait....3:45.....finaly. Audry quickly fixes one machine and leaves another lady to do the other. As she finishes up, the lady (we can call her physco bitch from hell) turns around and proceeds to yell at me, giving me a lecture about setting up the machines the right way the first time because they don't have time to fix our mistakes. 'you may be in first year now but you wont be for long and you girls better start taking responsibility and thinking about what you are doing!!' Whoa. At the beginning of the semester we were given one 2 minutes lesson on this machine and this was about a month before we were ever allowed to even touch it. None of us has ever actually set it up since. By now I'm used the the catty fashion admin so i don't even bother to defend myself. I smile politely keep my eyes on the floor and sit down at the machine as she storms out of the room.

4:20...i can think of more than one thing i would rather be doing now. I thread the machine

4:35. I try to serge. Wait...whats this? Oh! PBFH put the wrong effing needle in the machine!!! talk about doing things the right way the first time...who's around to fix your mistakes you dumb broad?!! There is no way I'm going to tell her. And i don't have time to figure out the other machine. Two and a half hours later i am exactly where i started, screw the serging, i sew it together without finishing the edges and head for home.

5:15 marking buttonhole placements
5:25 looking up phone numbers and addresses, hoping to find somewhere close to home that is still open.
5:30 on the phone with the guy from Queen Street Tailors and Alterations

Me: Hi, i was wondering if i can still get some buttonholes made if i come down right now
Guy: yeah sure, but when can you be here because we close in half an hour
Me: Ill be there in 15 is that OK? i only have 10 holes.
Guy: Yea that's fine, come on down

I could probably make it there in fifteen minutes on the streetcar but I'm not going to risk it. So i fork up the ten dollars for a cab ride over...

5:40 the cabbie misses the shop and drops me off five blocks away. I book it out of the cab. As i get out this wigger thug wannabe, in a matching camouflage over sized track suite and bandanna, looks me up and down and starts cat calling me. I run down the street. I get to the shop at 5:45 exactly fifteen mututes....perfect...but wait...you have to be kidding me. The lights are off and the door is locked. I peek through the window and see the guy standing in the back room. He takes one look at me and hides around the corner! yeah right. Just when i think i cant get any more frustrated, HE PEEKS IS HEAD OUT, SEES ME AND DUCKS BEHIND THE WALL AGAIN!!!

close to tears i still need buttons. I head over to a little shop down the block, pick up some little black numbers then ask the lady at the till if she knows who can still make me some buttonholes at this time of day. Not speaking much English, she hands me a business card for a Tailor a few blocks away who is open until 6:30. I walk to the address on the card and find myself face to face with a solid black metal door with graffiti and bullet holes. Its locked. I call the number. No answer. By this time 'thug life', as i like to call him, has crossed my path 3 times within the 10 blocks i have been walking up and down and i am in a hurry to get out of there.

I have one chance left. May, a little old Chinese lady who will do it from her basement. If only I had her number and address. I get out my phone...the battery light is flashing. I call Jade who goes upstairs and gets the number for me but we disconnected before it saved in my phone. So i call jade back. no answer. I call again. no answer. Again. no answer. Exhausted, hungry, and very stressed out i lean against the wall and sigh. All i want to do is curl in a ball and cry but there's my new boyfriend again so i cross the street.

RING!!! Its Jade! Thank god. She gives me the number. With my last bit of battery i call May, hop in a cab, and another $10 later I'm at her house. This lady was the cutest little seamstress i have ever met. We sat in her tiny basement while she made me buttonholes. We talked about everything from body piercings, to school, to factories in Hon Kong. True i only knew what she was saying half the time, but it was the best company i had all day. She did charge me a dollar a button and i know she did it for other girls for 85 cents but it was late, and on short notice.

7:30 and another ten dollar cab ride later I'm at home. I'de like to think i've learned my lesson on procrastinating, but only time will tell, and some things never change. One thing is for sure; when all is said and done and i am a fashion designer, i am contracting out ALL of my sewing.

Love Forever
Jamie

Some Important Advice

2007-04-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

Although it pains me intensely to write this, i feel like i should warn you all. When an appendage falls asleep: BE CAREFUL!! it might only be the beginning. It all started when i woke up this morning. I was sitting at the table with Jade. My eyes were half shut, my voice was not yet turned on, in fact, i hadn't even brushed my hair. Suddenly i felt that familiar tingly feeling in my right arm. It started at the finger tips and slowly moved up all the way to my shoulder. I began to laugh and do the things that you do when your arm is asleep and you cant feel anything. Bad idea. I put both arms in the air to stretch and 'CRACK!!' that was it. A wave of pain washed down the right side of my body. Four hours later, after a doctors visit and a pill with codeine, I'm feeling OK...great actually........kinda floaty...........

Love Forever
Jamie

A Series Of "Really Funny Jokes" Gone Horribly Awry

2007-04-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

Since moving to Toronto i have been blessed with a group of really funny friends. "The Core", as it were, has been caught a constant pattern of one-upping. In the last week or two we may have crossed the line more than once. Aparently jokes at others expense arent really as funny as one might expect. What began as a perfect recipie for fun filled days of pranks and laughter has resulted in broken hearts, possibly a few tears, some unhappy wasted time and definite undue stress. Lesson learned. This is my apology. Not to say im going to stop the jokes all together....lets not get carried away here. There is still those occasional ones that are guaranteed to keep on giving.

Love Forever,
Jamie

Its Not That I Dont Like Clubs, I Just Dont Like Slutty Girls.

2007-03-25T18:20:00.000-07:00

I went to a club sober this weekend. Not just any club either, a club that gives you colour coded glow bracelets that pertain to your relationship status. Needless to say, it might not have been the best choice i've ever made in my life. "Goin' clubbin' " is an interesting ritual that our species has developed. Most girls say that they dont go to the club to meet boys, there just going "to have a good time and dance and party with the girls!"...yeah, and i bet your going to cali next weekend too. With all that booty shaking and gyrating (not to mention the 4inch heals and short shorts) i find it very hard to believe. Then theres the fact that we all spend an hour to get ready only to get there and look exactly the same as every other girl in a halter/tube/tank top and skinny jeans/skirt with leggings. And for what? The akward looking, kinda skinny, drunk boy standing by the bar? Im think im going to start hanging out at the laundry mat instead...do you think the boys there will know that the green glow stick means single?

Love Forever
Jamie

This is fashion, that is NOT skinny.

2007-03-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

Theres this girl in my philosophy class who never takes off her gloves when she comes in. Im not talking about those little $2 ones from superstore either, they're shiny, black, and leather. There she is, just sitting there, every Tuesday, her coat is off, her scarf is sitting on the next chair, but the gloves stay...its not even cold in there!!....mabye shes a serial killer.

Love Forever,
Jamie

read this

2007-03-19T21:43:00.000-07:00

So I have decided to start believing in aliens. My hope is that they are close to us, watching us. The main reason for my new outlook on the universe is that i think it would be sweet if they all came and showed us how to control things outside of matter...and like, how to teleport and stuff. I hope they are not evil aliens though...and i hope they dont have anal probes and other such things.

Love Forever
Jamie